NOTICE TO ALL EMPLOYEESAs of January 20, 2009, when President Barack Obama is officially sworn into office, our company will install a few new policies which are in keeping with his new, inspiring issues of change and fairness:
1. All salespeople will be pooling their sales and bonuses into a common pool that will be divided equally between all of you. This will serve to give those of you who are underachieving a fair shake.
2. All low level workers will be pooling their wages, including overtime, into a common pool, dividing it equally amongst yourselves. This will help those who are too busy for overtime to reap the rewards from those who have more spare time and can work extra hours.
3. All top management will now be referred to as the government. We will not participate in this pooling experience because the law doesn't apply to us.
4. The government will give eloquent speeches to all employees every week, encouraging it's workers to continue to work hard for the good of all.
5. The employees will be thrilled with these new policies because it's good to spread the wealth. Those of you who have underachieved will finally get an opportunity; those of you who have worked hard and had success will feel more patriotic.
6. The last few people who were hired should clean out their desks. Don't feel bad, though, because President Obama will give you free health care, free handouts, free oil for heating your home, free food stamps, and he'll let you stay in your home for as long as you want even if you can't pay your mortgage. If you appeal directly to our democratic congress, you might even get a free flat screen TV and a coupon for free haircuts...
*Shouldn't all Americans be entitled to nice looking hair?
If for any reason you are not happy with these new policies, you should have rethought your vote today, November 4, 2008.
Oops.
*Post Script: If there is any dissent among you towards these new policies, we ask that others please report this immediately. Those opposing individuals (a.k.a. racist hate-mongers) will be dealt with swiftly.
6 comments:
some how we will get through this next four years...keep your head up and try not to fear!
I'm just happy that 102 passed, WHEW!
Its the last days no matter who is in office, and if we are prepared we shall not fear, right?? It may not be painless though!
amen sister! let's just pray these next 4 years will have more than just the "hope" he has promised us Americans....
I know what you mean Jamiee!
I was depressed all day on Wed after hearing late Tuesday night that Obama won the election!
I felt that Americans voted Obama because it was "a historical moment" for the first black man to be President. A celebrity. A poet with eloquent speeches.
I wanted a LEADER to run the country, not a poet spouting fairness. Life isn't fair, and it is not going to take a person like Obama to make it fair. (that would take Jesus himself when it is "that time" to return to earth and lay down the laws as it really should be)
(I think we will have to take our savings out of the bank and bury it in the backyard. Otherwise we will have to "share it" with those who are too lazy to work hard for years to build their own rainy day savings)
It is going to be an interesting four years.
So true, so true...
Hey lady! I am so glad to hear from you. Your family is so cute. I loved your company letter. It is so true. When the country goes to pot they will have no one but themselves to blame. We are in for a rocky ride. Put your shoulder to the wheel. As for my twins, they are not! They are actually three years apart. And unfortunately they have both passed away. I miss them so much. So we just have three right now. If you want to read more on what happened go to my archives on my blog around May to July. That is when I was down in Tuscon with my last one or you can e-mail me and I would love to talk. Talk to you soon.
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